I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
