That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
