Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
