doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize