let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
