I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
