Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
