We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
