He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
