This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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