I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
