I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize