no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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