i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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