Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
