It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
