I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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