Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Someone shit on the floor
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
