Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
