addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
