Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
