we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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