is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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