I just cut my nipple shaving
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were trust falling into bushes
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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