Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
