is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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