We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
