i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
