Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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