also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
