i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
