How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
