I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
