What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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