You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
