Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My penis needs a shock collar
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
