i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize