Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
