just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
