clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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