After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize