So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
