I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
