i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
