just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
