Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
