Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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