why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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