Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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