I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
