champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
