I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
