So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
