Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
