at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
