just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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