I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
