GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
